For breakfast I broiled two grapefruit halves with a smattering of turbinado sugar on top. I read from Mary Oliver while I waited for the fruit to cool. Eating the grapefruit was like having the warm taste of summer in my mouth. Little bullets of tart juice bursting on my tongue. Is grapefruit a winter season fruit? Seems to be. If so, the bitter aftertaste is just a sharp reminder that summer is yet months away.
Currently reading Mary Oliver's 'House of Light.' Mary Oliver is to poetry as Annie Dillard is to prose. I can only take them in small doses, otherwise I become lost in the density of language and so much crushing, heartbreaking beauty of nature. The inevitable resolution of predator and prey spun into macabre, yet true, ballet. And finding parallels to human nature and myself in the lines. The same wings that bring an eagle to soar with magnificence enable it to swoop to capture field mouse or rabbit to feed. It is not wrong for the eagle to take prey for sustenance or to soar with perceived grandeur. To paraphrase a Native American quote, we hold the power to both create and destroy. To deny one is to deny both, I think, and so the challenge, as a human being, is to not cause unnecessary harm.
07 December 2008
05 December 2008
B4 and After
At left are my workboots prior to the first day on the new job at the beginning of this year. These heavy duty puppies have steel toes and steel shanks, though the steel shanks have not kept me immune to the effects of stepping on nails. It took three incidents in the first two months of work for me to finally pay some close attention to where I stepped. Fortunately, only one nail (the last, of course) punctured a load bearing part of my foot. After that, I had a pretty good streak of avoiding nails until the day before Jack's Generic triathlon. I was prepared to walk the run portion if it was too painful to run. Not to worry. I fell off my bike during my dismount at transition, and the pain from my bloodied knee made me forget all about the silly puncture in my foot. My knee only hurt for the first quarter mile of the race, otherwise I would have stopped, right?
At left are my workboots from about three months ago, though they looked like this since the first week on the job. Notice the nail stuck in the sole. These were retired in late September. My feet hurt so much it was painful to walk barefoot. Apparently I wore out the soles. The new boots have been awesome, and will definitely carry me through the end of the year.
04 December 2008
too fast for me
Been having food and mild depression issues lately, plus, I've been wanting to fast, but the physicality of my job this year has precluded it. However, with only 44 hours left to work over two weeks (read: 4 and 5 day weekends), I decided rather spontaneously that this weekend would be a good opportunity to try an extended fast. By extended, I mean greater than 24 hours. I've done "liquid fasts" before. Actually, quite some time ago, when I thought a Dr. Pepper a day was a reasonable source of nutrition while fasting. How things change. I've never fasted for more than 24 hours, and I'm not committing to more than 72 for this one. It'll be interesting to see how things go after the first day. I completed my last meal around 1:30pm today, and have had nothing but water since. My blood sugar dropped around 3pm, but stabilized by 4pm. Part of my goal is to see if this helps clear my symptoms of depression. Therapy has been pretty productive for me lately, and this feels like a positive step in getting more clarity and awareness. The other goal is to examine and recalibrate my relationship with food. Since my big race in May, I've continued to eat like I'm training, but I've cut back my athletic activity considerably. I have a theory that my eating habits are contributing to my depression. We'll see what the next few days hold.
Tomorrow's schedule includes at least one yoga class, literal and figurative housecleaning, a second opinion on my car (which I learned today is living on borrowed time), getting the motorcycle running again, some cooking, a nap, and lots of water.
Tomorrow's schedule includes at least one yoga class, literal and figurative housecleaning, a second opinion on my car (which I learned today is living on borrowed time), getting the motorcycle running again, some cooking, a nap, and lots of water.
11 March 2008
Two for Thomas
Due to work conflicts, I've been missing the mid-week run practices. The hill workouts and interval training that I so enjoy. Tonight I had the rare opportunity to work in a hill training session after work.
My plan was for a 1 mile warm up, 4 hill repeats on Wilke, then a 1 mile cool down. I felt really slow, tight, and creaky on the warm up. It did not feel good to run; my legs were tired, my rhythm was off, and my heart rate seemed elevated. Granted, I'd made some poor food choices in the late afternoon, but I trudged on, nonetheless. Not really looking forward to Wilke.
Wilke is one of those hills that really should have its own theme song that cues up as you approach the base. Something like Also Sprach Zarathustra or the theme from Jaws. At least that's what I thought until I biked River Place last Saturday. Today it seemed smaller. After my rough warm up, I was unsure that I'd get in the planned four repeats, but decided to take them one at a time. As I prepared for the first ascent, a mountain biker headed up Wilke. After he'd gotten good head start, I began my persistent jog up the hill, focusing on knees up and pumping the arms. About a quarter of the way up, I realized I was gaining on the mountain biker. I was amused, grateful for the hard training, and wondered if I'd actually pass him. To my surprise and jubilation, I motored right by him about two-thirds of the way up. An auspicious start and a good confidence booster.
By the third repeat, I was in my element, enjoying the opportunity to be out on such a beautiful evening, seeing West Austin stretched out below me in the distance each time I walked to the bottom of the hill, and listening to my own labored breathing as I worked up the hill.
But don't get me wrong, this was a hard workout. My legs felt heavy and weak at times, and there came a point on each ascent where I wondered if I could make it to the top without stopping to walk. When those moments came, I thought of Thomas, who maintains such a positive attitude through chemotherapy and bone marrow aspirations. Thomas, who welcomes pain in his legs following treatment because it means he's growing neutrophils, Those thoughts pushed me up that hill, time and again. And after completing the fourth round, I decided to add two for Thomas. Those last two repeats were awesomely tough and just plain awesome. I raised my arms in triumph as I crested Wilke one last time, sending energy to Thomas and his family as they continue to fight his disease.
From a sluggish start to a jubilant finish, inspired by this young man fighting leukemia. I felt so good after conquering Wilke, that I ran the cool down back to my car faster than I'd run the warm up. I love negative splits!
My plan was for a 1 mile warm up, 4 hill repeats on Wilke, then a 1 mile cool down. I felt really slow, tight, and creaky on the warm up. It did not feel good to run; my legs were tired, my rhythm was off, and my heart rate seemed elevated. Granted, I'd made some poor food choices in the late afternoon, but I trudged on, nonetheless. Not really looking forward to Wilke.
Wilke is one of those hills that really should have its own theme song that cues up as you approach the base. Something like Also Sprach Zarathustra or the theme from Jaws. At least that's what I thought until I biked River Place last Saturday. Today it seemed smaller. After my rough warm up, I was unsure that I'd get in the planned four repeats, but decided to take them one at a time. As I prepared for the first ascent, a mountain biker headed up Wilke. After he'd gotten good head start, I began my persistent jog up the hill, focusing on knees up and pumping the arms. About a quarter of the way up, I realized I was gaining on the mountain biker. I was amused, grateful for the hard training, and wondered if I'd actually pass him. To my surprise and jubilation, I motored right by him about two-thirds of the way up. An auspicious start and a good confidence booster.
By the third repeat, I was in my element, enjoying the opportunity to be out on such a beautiful evening, seeing West Austin stretched out below me in the distance each time I walked to the bottom of the hill, and listening to my own labored breathing as I worked up the hill.
But don't get me wrong, this was a hard workout. My legs felt heavy and weak at times, and there came a point on each ascent where I wondered if I could make it to the top without stopping to walk. When those moments came, I thought of Thomas, who maintains such a positive attitude through chemotherapy and bone marrow aspirations. Thomas, who welcomes pain in his legs following treatment because it means he's growing neutrophils, Those thoughts pushed me up that hill, time and again. And after completing the fourth round, I decided to add two for Thomas. Those last two repeats were awesomely tough and just plain awesome. I raised my arms in triumph as I crested Wilke one last time, sending energy to Thomas and his family as they continue to fight his disease.
From a sluggish start to a jubilant finish, inspired by this young man fighting leukemia. I felt so good after conquering Wilke, that I ran the cool down back to my car faster than I'd run the warm up. I love negative splits!
Off the Deep End
The Wildflower triathlon is less than two months away, and I am starting to realize what a daunting goal I have set for myself, i.e., how crazy this really is. I have no qualms about completing any leg of the event on its own. I am confident that I can swim 1.2 miles, bike 56 miles, and run 13.1 miles. The idea of doing all three in one day, one right after the other, in what is considered the hardest Half-Iron triathlon in America, however, is pretty intimidating. I really wanted to crawl back into bed this morning when the 5am alarm went off for swim practice. But I remembered my honored hero, Thomas Molina, who doesn't have a choice when it comes to receiving cancer treatment, and pulled myself together, persevered through a unique bit of car trouble, and made it to swim practice.
My attitude about the swim has come full circle. I look at it as the easiest part of this race. Thanks to some insightful and personalized coaching, I feel more stable and confident in the water. Thanks to my new manual labor job, I also feel stronger. Swimming felt good...what an amazing difference from last year when the swim was a monkey on my back. I love how this sport challenges me to push past my fears and doubts, and I love when I can look back and see the progress I've made.
I've been training for the Wildflower triathlon since mid-November of last year, but have been reticent to blog about it because it's been so much more challenging than training for CapTex. Yesterday marked the date that the team (and I) officially committed to the race, so it feels right to start talking about what's going on. I'm reaching that point in training where sometimes I'm seeing some improvements in strength and endurance, but I'm also struggling mentally and psychologically when I think about doing the bike and run back to back. Last week's hilly 54 mile bike was a leg and lung burner. Although I felt pretty good that day, I was really sluggish on the long run the next day. A two-hour nap afterward helped. Perhaps it will be helpful for me to just focus on the day's training, and not jump ahead mentally to race day. Stay in the now, as it were.
My attitude about the swim has come full circle. I look at it as the easiest part of this race. Thanks to some insightful and personalized coaching, I feel more stable and confident in the water. Thanks to my new manual labor job, I also feel stronger. Swimming felt good...what an amazing difference from last year when the swim was a monkey on my back. I love how this sport challenges me to push past my fears and doubts, and I love when I can look back and see the progress I've made.
I've been training for the Wildflower triathlon since mid-November of last year, but have been reticent to blog about it because it's been so much more challenging than training for CapTex. Yesterday marked the date that the team (and I) officially committed to the race, so it feels right to start talking about what's going on. I'm reaching that point in training where sometimes I'm seeing some improvements in strength and endurance, but I'm also struggling mentally and psychologically when I think about doing the bike and run back to back. Last week's hilly 54 mile bike was a leg and lung burner. Although I felt pretty good that day, I was really sluggish on the long run the next day. A two-hour nap afterward helped. Perhaps it will be helpful for me to just focus on the day's training, and not jump ahead mentally to race day. Stay in the now, as it were.
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